Asking for help may feel uncomfortable and awkward, especially at work. Perhaps you believe that doing so may demonstrate weakness or insecurity. But in fact, asking for help is a sign of strength: Suffering in silence is not. When you reach out for guidance, assistance, support or more tools, you’re demonstrating your commitment and resilience to overcome obstacles. This is viewed positively in the civilian workforce, especially when seeking a mentor.
What Is Mentorship?
Mentorship is a powerful and rich form of support and help in which many professionals engage to grow their skills, network and professional clout. A mentor volunteers their time, wisdom and expertise to guide someone needing help in some way. A mentee is the person who seeks guidance.
Mentors can provide access to additional information and resources. They can be a productive sounding board when the mentee’s career hits a challenge and can guide their mentee toward new perspectives and opportunities because of their broader, more experienced viewpoint. The mentor is often someone with more experience, exposure and a greater variety of contacts to draw from.
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How to Find a Mentor
To find and ask for mentorship, follow these three steps:
1. Find your goal. Before you reach out to people to seek mentorship, be clear on what you need help with. Are you struggling with the military-to-civilian transition? Do you need guidance getting promoted in your current company? Are you looking to make a career change? Your mentor should have knowledge and skills in the area you seek advice.
Get clear about how much time you think you’ll need from your mentor. Clarifying goals before you find a mentor ensures you connect with the right person, for the right amount of time, to aid your career growth.
2. Find your mentor. As you refined your goals, did a specific person come to mind whom you might approach? Your mentor doesn’t have to be someone you currently work with, someone at your company or even in your industry — though they might be.
If no one immediately comes to mind, do some searching. Look at your connections on LinkedIn. Whose content do you most closely follow? Do you follow them, because they have insights and tips that speak directly to your goals? If you identify someone on LinkedIn who you’d like to approach, see to whom you’re connected or who might know them. This will help with the next step.
As you look around your office, company and community, see whether there are people you admire and who might be a good fit to help with your goals. It may be someone older or younger, with a military background or not, who is in your same type of work or a very different one. What matters is that they can help you understand the challenges and opportunities you are encountering or will soon encounter.
3. Find your approach. With a goal and a potential mentor in mind, now you’ll craft your approach. Consider whether you know this person well enough to make the ask directly, whether you know someone who knows them well and can make an introduction, or whether they’re just someone you admire from afar. In any case, deciding how you’ll approach them matters.
You may wish to email them (or message them on LinkedIn) and request a call or meeting to discuss your ask. In this case, make it clear why you want the meeting, so they can opt out if they don’t have time or aren’t interested. Some people would love to be a mentor, but their busy lives or their work doesn’t permit it. That’s OK. You’d rather learn this in advance.
In the call or meeting, spell out your goals, expectations (around timing and intensity of meetings) and why you’re seeking them out as a mentor. Just saying, “Hey, you started a company, and I’d like to also — can you show me how?” is far too broad. Instead, be clear, “I’m building an early-stage AI firm and am seeking guidance around alternative funding streams and the timing of key hires. As you’ve built several tech companies, would you guide me through those steps?”
Being a mentor is a rich and rewarding experience for many. Personally, I’ve mentored many transitioning service members and military spouses, and to know that my skills, experience and insights were helpful to someone growing their career or feeling more confident is powerful! Your mentors will also feel the rewards when you’re organized, intentional and prepared for the relationship.
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