Respond to the Unexpected

Many years ago, before I started really thinking about how to adapt to different self-defense situations, I would picture scenarios in my mind and prepare on how best to react. I remember thinking if someone broke into my house I would respond with “X.” If someone tried to steal my car at a gas station, I would respond with “Y.” If someone tried to steal my purse I would respond with “Z.”  I thought I was ahead of the game, but when I look back, that may not have been the case.

Yes, if the real event went down exactly like I imagined, then I may have responded perfectly, but reality tells a different story. Each day is filled with wonder, hidden events, curveballs, surprises and challenges that we may have never thought about.

What if the real-life event did not go the way I rehearsed in my mind? What if I only mentally rehearsed one specific way? What if someone broke into my house through the front door and not the basement like I imagined? What if someone tried to steal my car with me and my grandchildren in it? What if someone grabbed my purse and that day, I was carrying my gun via off body carry? No matter how much we try to prepare, we need to expect the unexpected.

I hate to say it, but most self-defense situations do not meet our preplanned expectations. But do not fret, you can program your brain to respond and not react. No, they are not the same thing.

• The definition of respond is “to reply to something. To act or behave in reaction to someone or something.” A well-planned response is a good thing.
• The definition of react is “an action performed or feeling experienced as a direct result to something.” Reactions are often caused by panic; they can be abrupt and not thought out. An unplanned reaction can be hazardous.

Solving Everyday Problems

Now let’s take the familiar location and expectations out of it and focus on the situation right in front of us. We are still going to use the lessons learned from when we played the “What if” game and use the mental rehearsals in our favor, but we will apply the knowledge to the unique situation unfolding in front of us.

Scenario: You are driving and need to use the restroom, so you pull over at a gas station. It is 96 degrees outside so you leave the car running and tell your grandkids you will be right back and to lock the doors after you get out. You are back in 5 minutes and see someone standing by the driver’s side door and reaching for the handle. You are on alert, but you know it is locked…. or is it? You need to consider your options and act quickly and explosively.

• Did you spot any pre-attack indicators?
• How far are they from you?
• Where are you? Outside? Inside? Exit doors available?
• Are you or someone you love in immediate danger?
• Can you leave or avoid? Walk or run?
• Must you confront someone? Is this a situation where you leaving is not an option?
• Are you alone? Do you need to control others by your side?
• Do you need to give verbal commands?
• Do you pre-deploy a tool?
• Is it full action time, or can you call 911 and just walk away?
• What are your state’s law/codes on self defense or defense of others?

I have played the scenario over and over in my mind, that if someone wants to steal my car, I always walk away and just let the bad person have it. It is an object and there is nothing in it that is worth my life. But that scenario has just been changed and now my grandkids are in the car so my response must be morphed to fit exactly what is happening now. To me, there Is something in the car that is worth fighting for so let’s rehearse that.

Our goal is to see, respond and then act, not react. An incident could happen anywhere at any time, so with mindset, staying alert, training under stress, practicing mental rehearsals and trusting your instincts, you have a much higher chance of responding to a problem and not reacting to one.