We don’t often dunk on undeserving cars, but spotting a struggling Suzuki Jimny on the highway the other day reminded me just what a terrible car it actually is. Yes, it’s an epic off-roader, but very few of us actually have to drive over a mountain to get to work. As a result, Jimny ownership means living with a highly compromised yet cute car that can only do one thing.
Many of you won’t agree with the cars on this list, which includes a Jeep for the very reasons mentioned above. But rest assured that I will also make a case for why these cars can be forgiven for sucking.
Let’s launch straight into this list of cars that have a reputation for being fantastic, but will drive you mad if you spend enough time with them.
Suzuki Jimny: It Only Does One Thing
In the USA, the current Jimny is known as forbidden fruit. Enthusiasts look at it and wonder how cool it would be to drive the car that Mercedes-Benz copied when it designed the G-Class. (Look it up. The Jimny’s ancestors predate the G-Class). You can buy a Samurai easily enough, but they have gone up in value in recent years. Thankfully, there are still cheap Suzuki off-roader options available.
The problem with the Suzuki is twofold. First, Suzuki had a singular focus while developing the thing. It was built to be as good as possible off-road, while everything else was secondary. Yes, Suzuki gave it all the modern comforts, but it still has solid axles at the front and rear. That means any inputs to the steering wheel are best described as suggestions, and it leans so much through the corners that there’s a risk you might scrape your elbow.
The second issue is power, or rather a lack of it. The 1.5-liter NA engine tries extremely hard, but it’s not up to the task. The result is 23.5 MPG on the combined cycle, which is ridiculous for such a small car.
On the positive side, the lack of power can be seen as a safety feature. At 70 mph, the car has a nasty tendency to sway, and its boxy shape is extremely susceptible to any kind of wind. Still, it is cute, but that’s its biggest problem. The looks lure unsuspecting people to showrooms, and they buy it because it’s extremely stylish.
But then you have to live with it far outside its comfort zone, and weeks later you realize that a faux off-roader like the Mazda CX-30 would have been a much better purchase.
Aston Martin Vantage V8: Lots Of Noise, Not Much Progress
This one pains me, because I actually adore the Aston Martin V8 Vantage. I’m obviously not talking about the current Vantage, which has a ridiculous 656 horsepower on tap, but rather the first-generation that arrived in the USA in 2006.
First, the good bits. It’s easily one of the best-looking cars ever made, even though its design is fairly simple. It also came with a manual gearbox and an exhaust sound that could be heard from miles away. This car is equal parts sports car and pantomime. And let’s make the obligatory James Bond connection. Yes, it’s a cliché, but it’s impossible to drive an Aston Martin and not feel sexy, suave, and dangerous, even though your belly, bald patch, and “Best of the 90s” playlist suggest otherwise.
The V8 Vantage’s biggest sin was that it wasn’t as quick as promised. The first model year in the USA (2008) was equipped with a 4.3-liter NA V8 producing 380 hp. Aston fixed it a few years later with an updated 4.7-liter V8 producing 420 hp, but even that wasn’t enough. The 911 Carrera S of the same period only had 355 hp to work with, but it upstaged the Vantage in every department. And the Porsche was roughly $40,000 cheaper… these days it’s an absolute bargain, however. And very easy to recommend.
Jeep Wrangler: Same Issues As The Jimny
I’ll keep this one short. If you want the best factory-built off-roader, the best option is the Jeep Wrangler Rubicon 392. It has loads of tricks that make it nearly unstoppable off-road, but those same set of tricks make it difficult to live with daily. The hood dives under braking, the steering is as vague as a misty day, and the sound insulation is poor.
There are no official figures on how many Wrangler owners actually use their cars in the manner that was intended, but a Jeep designer hinted in 2019 that it’s as low as 10–15%. Yes, you can remove the roof and doors, and that will make you smile for a few months. But then it starts to rain, and you’ll be jealous of the guy in the Ford Bronco Sport waiting at the lights next to you.
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This article originally appeared on CarBuzz and is republished here with permission.
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